Abby Advice: Affair leaves a broken spirit

DEAR ABBY>> I’m a 38-year-old woman who used to be nice. Then I had a three-year affair. Knowing I’m one of America’s bigger fools — and for such a long time — is infuriating, but I finally saw the light. The only person I think is a bigger fool than me is his wife.

Some “highlights” of our romance: He gave me an STD during spring break, I found “Ally’s” phone number in his contact file, and I saw a blonde in a white convertible drop him off in front of his house at 9:15 in the morning, which, according to him, “never happened.” My eyes don’t lie.

After I was struck by a car in a crosswalk, he never once called me to see how I was. After that, his teenage son followed me around town flipping me off and shouting obscenities at me.

There’s more, but I’ll spare you.

Please warn your readers to stay away from affairs. I have spent thousands of dollars for counseling. It’s a lot of money, but I am worth it.

— Finally Saw The Light

DEAR FINALLY>> Love may be blind, but I’m pleased you finally saw the light.

I’m also pleased that you realized you needed professional help to regain some self-esteem. Your bitterness jumps off the pages of your letter. If you work on that with your counselor, too, it will be money well spent.

DEAR ABBY>> I was widowed 10 years ago after 34 years of marriage. My late husband’s sister, “Barbara,” who is also now a widow with no children or other family, considers me her sister and friend. Abby, I have NEVER felt close to her. We are very different, and neither my husband nor I had any real contact with her other than occasional holiday gatherings.

Barbara is a domineering, self-pitying hypochondriac with no friends left she hasn’t alienated. We live fairly near each other, and I have the feeling since the loss of her husband three years ago that she’s expecting me to be her companion and caregiver going into her elder years. I’d slit my wrists first!

I married my husband “until death do us part,” not his family. I don’t want to hurt Barbara’s feelings; I just want to enjoy my own senior years. How can I gently remove myself from Barbara’s game plan?

— Didn’t Sign Up For This

DEAR DIDN’T SIGNUP>> “Gently” remove yourself from Barbara’s game plan by being increasingly less available. She may be strong-willed and domineering, but you do NOT have to knuckle under to her wishes or be a dumping ground for her problems. If she asks to get together, be busy. If she’s depressed, suggest grief counseling, which has helped so many. You do not have to be cruel or heavy-handed about standing up for yourself.

Contact Dear Abby

P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Dear Abby | Columnist

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  • To Country: United States
  • From: 92570
  • User Alias: PostalBee
  • Posted On: 1/14/2022 4:41:29 AM
  • Expiration On: 2/13/2022 4:41:29 AM
  • Last Modified On: 1/14/2022 4:41:29 AM
  • Category: Advice, Hints, and Hacks

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