Abby Advice: When visiting, these siblings operate on different schedules

DEAR ABBY >> My brother and I are in our 40s. We live several states apart and visit each other a couple times a year. We are both very active but on different time schedules. I’m a morning person who has been getting up at 5 a.m. for so many years my body will not sleep past then.

He’s a night owl.  He sleeps until 10 a.m. and expects to be doing fun activities until at least midnight.

He plans specific activities — buys us concert tickets to a 9-11 p.m. show that’s an hour away, which guarantees to keep us up past midnight. He gets upset if I don’t stay up late, because that means we don’t get to spend as much time together or do all the fun activities we want. He won’t wake up earlier because weekends/vacation days are his only chance to sleep in. (He has to get up at 8 a.m. on workdays, so he’s not willing to meet in the middle.)

After our visits, I’m so exhausted it takes me a week to recover from getting only four hours of sleep while he’s here, and it affects the quality of my work. Is there a rule of etiquette for guests and hosts regarding adjusting schedules to accommodate each other?

Shouldn’t the host choose the schedule? For instance, at his house, activities go from 10 a.m. till midnight, but at my house, we get up earlier and go to bed earlier? Or must the host accommodate the guest’s preferred schedule?

— Sleepy Sis in Wisconsin

DEAR SIS >> Houseguests are supposed to abide by the schedule of their host. What this means is your common-sense assertion that when you are at your brother’s house you would stay up later, and when he’s at yours he would go to bed earlier, is correct.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 610540447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.

Contact Dear Abby

P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Dear Abby | Columnist

0 0


  • To Country: United States
  • From: 92570
  • User Alias: PostalBee
  • Posted On: 11/22/2021 5:15:28 AM
  • Expiration On: 12/22/2021 5:15:28 AM
  • Last Modified On: 11/22/2021 5:15:28 AM
  • Category: Advice, Hints, and Hacks

Please Login to add comments.
Please login to reply or flag this note.
Email to friends using email, gmail, yahoo mail, hotmail, outlook, live mail.