Abby Advice: Widow enjoys affair by phone

 DEAR ABBY >> I am widowed after 45 years of marriage.

A male work friend of 20 of those years wants to have a relationship with me but he’s still married. We have already had incredible phone sex because he said he’s in a sexless marriage. I enjoy our long conversations. He lives up north and I reside in Florida, so we won’t meet in person. Since his wife refuses him sex and because he has been attracted to me from the day we met at work 20 years ago, what do you think about our continued phone sex?

— Good Call in Florida

DEAR GOOD CALL >> To paraphrase William Shakespeare, “A rose is a rose by any other name.” So is adultery. If, after having had 45 years of a presumably happy marriage, your goal might be to form a relationship that possibly leads to cohabitation, I would urge you to find someone who’s available, rather than settle for phone sex that will lead nowhere with someone who’s unavailable.

DEAR ABBY >> Is there a polite way to ask my neighbor where his wife is? I’ve lived in a neighborhood for four years where most people keep to themselves. During COVID, I noticed this female neighbor taking multiple walks each day. I introduced myself and sometimes came across her on my walk. She was pleasant but didn’t seem interested in being “friendly.” She was AL-WAYS on her phone every time she left the house.

I haven’t seen the woman in more than a year. The daughter and dad sometimes walk together with the dog. My reason for wanting to know is to understand their circumstance — did she pass away, did she leave her husband?

It’s like she simply vanished.

— Concerned Neighbor in A Small Town

DEAR CONCERNED >> The next time you see the husband say, “I used to see your wife walking so often. I haven’t seen her in about a year. How is she?”

DEAR ABBY >> For the last 14 months, I’ve been in a relationship with a man I adore. Things have been great. There’s just one problem, though, that really bothers me. He rents a room (his living room, actually) to his ex-girlfriend.

In the beginning, I didn’t feel I had the right to say anything about it, and he assured me she would eventually move. Well, now we can’t even discuss the issue without getting upset.

I don’t think we can move forward in our relationship with this baggage in our way. I need some advice.

— Third Wheel in California

DEAR WHEEL >> I completely agree that your relationship won’t move forward with that “baggage” in the way. That’s why it’s time to ... move on.

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